YSYRFT? (You sure you're ready for this?)

Welcome to B*tches in the Burbs. We're not sure how you got here, but we're glad you did. We absolutely can't wait to get started, but we need to warn everyone that this blog may be offensive to you if you are not truly a b*tchy girl. B*tchy girls can be found everywhere: young, old, any race, size, religion, etc. They can be married, divorced, single, engaged, moms, college students...the list goes on and on.
If the mere mention of mom jeans, candle parties, scrapbooking, or bunco excites you, trust us, this is DEFINITLEY NOT the site for you. STOP READING now and go back to your arts n crafts.
We have many friends who enjoy these different activities, and we're not looking to make mortal enemies, although we're pretty sure we will piss people off. To that we say TOO DAMN BAD. For those of you who continue to read despite the warning and are going to be offended, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get off now. We don't want to hear, nor do we care about your bitchy comments or complaints about what we say. We're just trying to have a little fun!
So.............
Do you think you're a b*tchy girl? Scroll down to the bottom of the page and take the quiz and see!

Monday, January 10, 2011

RUAB?

Are you a b*tch? Take our quiz and see:

1. When you get an invitation to a candle, southern living, scrapbooking, pampered chef, (etc) party you think:
  
     a.) Awesome,  I can't wait to see all of the cool new stuff they have, gotta put it on my calendar now.


     b.) It will be a fun girls night out


     c.) Holy shit, the thought of sitting in a room with a bunch of random people that I know I won't like    listening to someone trying to sell me some kind of crap that I know i won't use makes me want to cry. 




2. Crocs are:


     a.) cool


     b.) functional


     c.) hideous




3.) You are sitting in a meeting.  It's almost 5:00 on a Friday.  You think:


     a) I'm so glad that I don't have to get up early for work tomorrow morning so that we can stay here until we can work through whatever we need to, and I'll contribute all I can to be a great member of the team.


     b.) This is not fun, but necessary.  I want to get out of here, but if something comes up that I feel passionately about, I'll contribute my ideas.


     c.) WTF are they even talking about?????   It's 5:00!!!  Let's GTF outta here.




4.) You are at the park with your kids (or someone elses kids if you don't have them). Some random person comes up and wants to talk to you.  You would:


     a.) Welcome the opportunity to meet a fellow parent (aunt, babysitter...).  It's so much fun to meet new people no matter where you are, and definitely exchange phone numbers so you can arrange a playdate.


     b.) Make small talk, let the kids play together, and maybe meet at the park again one day.


     c.) pretend you are deaf or speak a foreign language.




5.) You know you'll be friends with someone new because:


     a.) They offer you advice on homework, arts n crafts, parenting, recipes, etc.


     b.) You belong to the same organization or club.


     c.) They swear like a sailor, drink like a fish, and pretty much judge everyone around them.




6.) You know a playdate will be successful when:


     a.) When the mom invites you in and insists that you stay, look through parenting journals, and discuss the newest and best child rearing techniques.


     b.) The mom makes a nice lunch, for both the kids and you, and you find things to chat about to pass the time.


     c.)  The mom either sends you on your way, or invites you in for a nice stiff drink.




7.) You go to your neighbor's bunco party.  What does it look like?


     a.)  Everyone is seated at their tables at 7 pm sharp with their dice, chex mix, bottled water, wearing our special handmade embroidered sweatshirts.


     b.)  We have appetizers and drinks, then get to playing.  It's not so serious, we have fun.


     c.) Bunco?????  WTF is Bunco???????






Answers:


Mostly A's:  You are not even close to being a b*tchy girl.  Find your local mom's club, religious group, or anything else.  You don't belong on this page and you will most definitley HATE OUR GUTS!


Mostly B's:   You may have a few b*tchy tendencies, but we're guessing that you may find much of our material and opinions offensive.   Read this blog with caution,  and be aware that you may find yourself completely pissed off at times.


Mostly C's:  CONGRATULATIONS!  YOU ARE DEFINITELY A B*TCHY GIRL.  WELCOME TO THE CLUB GIRLFRIEND!  Cheers to you, you found your home!


Ok b*tchy girls, here we go.  Look for new postings, pictures, stories, etc. on a daily basis.  Please leave comments, add stories, or whatever you want to make this a fun and funny place to come to each day.    




Love,
Your favorite BIBS (B*itches in the Burbs)





15 comments:

  1. I knew right away that I related to the "C's". I have always owned my bitchiness...

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  2. Where did you get that tiny water bottle (the one in Barbie's boobs)? That's freaking adorable. And why is the same Barbie holding an albino peguin between her fingers?

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  3. Also, is that Dick in a Box on the lap of Barbie on the right?

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  4. The tiny water bottle came with a barbie exercise outfit i think. LOL not albino penguin, she's supposed to be smoking. The Dick in the Box was accidental, but soooooo funny!

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  5. that was accidental!!!hilarious!!!! albino penquin?lmao!

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  6. BE Aware of "Spying Husbands", aka, "Snooping Cocks" - LOL. This is hilarious.
    SHC (Snooping Husband Cock)!

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  7. You're right Anonymous! How do we block those cocks?? ;)

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  8. haha!my WH-worse half (new acronym)btw has seen this and actually laughed.....is he now a BMDAD
    bitchy mom disguised as a dad?

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  9. You know I already qualify. I didn't really need the test. However I took it anyway and YEP.. its confirmed.. C all the way baby!

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  10. The bitch switch has been flipped.

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  11. i am such a complete bitch! i love me :D

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