YSYRFT? (You sure you're ready for this?)
Welcome to B*tches in the Burbs. We're not sure how you got here, but we're glad you did. We absolutely can't wait to get started, but we need to warn everyone that this blog may be offensive to you if you are not truly a b*tchy girl. B*tchy girls can be found everywhere: young, old, any race, size, religion, etc. They can be married, divorced, single, engaged, moms, college students...the list goes on and on.
If the mere mention of mom jeans, candle parties, scrapbooking, or bunco excites you, trust us, this is DEFINITLEY NOT the site for you. STOP READING now and go back to your arts n crafts.
We have many friends who enjoy these different activities, and we're not looking to make mortal enemies, although we're pretty sure we will piss people off. To that we say TOO DAMN BAD. For those of you who continue to read despite the warning and are going to be offended, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get off now. We don't want to hear, nor do we care about your bitchy comments or complaints about what we say. We're just trying to have a little fun!
Do you think you're a b*tchy girl? Scroll down to the bottom of the page and take the quiz and see!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
BDF Bachelor Drama-Finale or Brad's a Dumb F*ck
So if you read my other blog about The Bachelor, I predicted AND pegged the outcome! I win! I'm pretty freakin' proud of myself because I am always wrong when guessing, especially if money is involved. Crap, I should have bet some of you b*tches and made a couple easy bucks cuz the hillbilly DID propose to the other hillbilly (IMILY) after all! Although, one of my secret predictions was that Chantal would come out in the end saying she was carrying Brad's baby, because let's face it; she didn't exactly retain her slender "first episode" physique for too long. As the show progressed, Chantal's mid-section seemed to expand, like that of a 2-3 month pregger belly. Now, I know I'm a bit shallow with the whole weight thing, and I do tend to rip on any hint of cottage cheese, mush, or jiggling of the body parts of people I'm jealous of. BUT Chantal had almost a waddle goin' on that I'm thinking Brad would likely decline "petting", when he has a Hugh Heffner caliber hottie to turn out, if you know what I mean. HELLO, she's perfect! They were a good fit. They're both "Suthern". She was sweet and naive and he would get sooo nervous around her! He loved her from the get-go, and for cryin' out loud, Brad's mom loved her for her comment that Brad was her angel! Give me a f*cking kiss-ass break. She either was: A.) given a selection of choice compliments to charm the "kin" with or B.) using her best gold-digging tactics just like People magazine pointed out! Imily is the devil! Did you watch the "After the Final Rose" show? Can you say 180? She's like "Yah, Ah doo luv 'im, but get mare-eed? Um, NO!" The audience was aghast! Haha, Brad. You shoulda picked the rich sweet one with the big boobies and rich parents. So she had a few too many pina coladas and chose not to use the upscale fitness centers she had at her fingertips. She had a good heart, was rich, had a beautiful face, and did I say she was RICH?? Sh*t.......she even knows how to draw a map of the places she had so graciously traveled to for you, Brad! Whatever. I'm annoyed with both of them quite frankly. In fact, I can't think of any of the other 23 that suited him either. Wait a minute, he's 38. I'm 40. Fine, 41. We are much closer in age than he was with any of those dingy broads. Pick me, pick me! He's my angel too, Mama! Aaaaaactually......I'll take Chad, the twin brother! Bada-bing, right B*tches????! Til next season, smooches!