& exactly what I'd like to say:
1. La Leche League Fanatics who look down at me because I didn't breastfeed my kids: Listen, I still have two amazing, healthy, well adjusted kids, and an ENORMOUS RACK that would make you green with envy...take that suckers!
2. Moms who think that they should be BFF with every other chick who has kids: If I didn't like you before I gave birth, I'm not gonna like you now. Just because we both pushed a couple of rugrats out of our coochies, doesn't make us soul sisters.
3. People that reach a certain age and look like a frumpy old hag: Is there some unwritten rule that at (enter age) you have to stop caring what you look like? Get off your lazy *ss, brush your hair, polish your nails, put on a sexy outfit and find your f*cking mojo.
4. "Friends" who continue to invite me to their SL/CL/SB & Bunco parties, INSIST that I come, and get pissed when I spend the evening drinking and making sh*t outta the DMs: Unless you're having a jewelry, slumber (adult toy), or spa party, save your stamp or evite. Listen b*tches, if I'm having a GNO I sure as h*ll won't be spending it talking about decorating, recipes, and scrapbooking over chips 'n dip. Not even remotely my idea of fun!
5. People who talk in cliches, quotes, and sayings: Please, I'm begging you, shut the f*ck up. Stop using dumb*ss expressions that created by someone else eons ago. If you don't have an original thought in your head, then you really shouldn't be talking.
6. "Holier Than Thou" types, that are mortified by just about everything that comes out of my mouth: Yes, you priss, I do have a vocabulary that would make even a truck driver blush. And holy sh*t, I even occasionally talk this way in front of my kids. Guess what, you prude clueless wench, my kids stand up to bullies for other people, know right from wrong, and really don't swear very much themselves, but when they do, I laugh my *ss off 'cuz I think it's funny as f*ck!
Although I could go on and on, I'll leave it at that for today. Hope you b*tches had a wild and wonderful weekend and are doing something equally b*tchin' today!
DAMN RIGHT! #4 seriously! #6 - I had a friend break the fuck up with me in a fucking email and she told me that I offend her and others. If you can't hang with comes out of my mouth you need to remove yourself from your ass and I don't want you as a friend anyway. Good Riddance!
ReplyDeleteI love this blog! :)
OMFG no way did a friend break up with you over email. Fucking bitch! I agree 100 percent, if you can't handle what I say then I don't want to be your friend anyway! SO glad you're loving our blog. Tell all of you bitchy friends about it too!
ReplyDeletehaha!breath of fresh air as usual! that's why I love you cuz you real don't give a f**k what anyone thinks!btw...NOT EASY TO STUFF A BRATZ DOLLS BOOBIES!
ReplyDeleteLove ya too baby!
ReplyDeleteYour whole blog is one fing cliche. You think you're the only woman who swears like a truckdriver? Get a life and get some class. Just because you don't consider yourself a DM, does not mean it is not dorky to swear and act like a classless idiot. Grow up.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, I'm so sorry you feel that way, I'm also sorry that you truly have nothing better to do with your time than read blogs that obvioulsy offend you. There is a disclaimer to warn people not to read if they believe that they will find our blog distasteful. Did you read it?
ReplyDeleteDorky can mean a lot of things to many people. This is my world, and if you don't like it get out. Meanwhile, although I am the one responding, our site is made up of more than one BIB, so when you address us, please do so properly.
I'm guessing that you have a scrapbooking event, bunco party or pot luck dinner to attend to. Maybe you should go worry about those things. Also, next time you want to leave a comment on here, have the balls to say who you are, otherwise, please stay off.
OMG look at that, an entire paragraph without one curse word. I have more class in my little finger than you could even imagine. Go do something that makes you happy sweetie, no sense in bringing yourself down reading something that obviously upsets you so.
Here are some positive comments from our faithful readers. I took the names off, all were posted on facebook:
ReplyDeleteWorse...a coward with no sense of humor.
No problem girl. I love, love your blog!
Tell that bitch to shove it up her ass!
What an idiot! The coward should be reading the dumb bitch blog! Keep up the good work, sista friend!Obviously....dumb, coward bitch with no sense of humor...I love it!
you should not apologize! Like you said...if you don't like it, don't read it! I hate stupid people
Btw...loved your last post. So sorry for the loss of your friend...you paid her a great, funny tribute!
I can't take it!! Too funny!! Love it!!
You are too funny!!
I am bowing to you now..(I'm not worthy) I think I love you...and if not, you're still awesome for finding it!
lol the snow day blog is hillarious. I'm an arts and crafts lady and don't mind mom jeans though... lol still funny.
YOU crack me up. love the blog... very enjoyable to us b$tches hehehe
Just read your blog for the first time. CRACKS ME UP. I love it! I just bookmarked it. Love the honesty. :)
Love your blog! Its funny & smart & oh so true!! Rec my followers to read it. WTF!!!!!
I look forward to this every morning with my coffee....gets my mood in order:) thanks for sharing it!!
LOVE IT!!
perfection. love it
This was hilarious and that commentor was a moron.
ReplyDeleteCarry on bitches.
First time reader and I love it!
You got yourself a new subscriber, I may not be a bitch, but sometimes I think I'm a bastard:)
Dude, thanks! Bitches come in all shapes, sizes and sexes! Welcome to our world, hope you enjoy! xo
ReplyDeletehaha!!!love the newbies!!Welcome!
ReplyDelete