YSYRFT? (You sure you're ready for this?)

Welcome to B*tches in the Burbs. We're not sure how you got here, but we're glad you did. We absolutely can't wait to get started, but we need to warn everyone that this blog may be offensive to you if you are not truly a b*tchy girl. B*tchy girls can be found everywhere: young, old, any race, size, religion, etc. They can be married, divorced, single, engaged, moms, college students...the list goes on and on.
If the mere mention of mom jeans, candle parties, scrapbooking, or bunco excites you, trust us, this is DEFINITLEY NOT the site for you. STOP READING now and go back to your arts n crafts.
We have many friends who enjoy these different activities, and we're not looking to make mortal enemies, although we're pretty sure we will piss people off. To that we say TOO DAMN BAD. For those of you who continue to read despite the warning and are going to be offended, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get off now. We don't want to hear, nor do we care about your bitchy comments or complaints about what we say. We're just trying to have a little fun!
So.............
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Oh Buggah, F*cking with the Royals, B*tchy Style

Top Ten Ways to Royally Fuck with the Queen
Click on the picture to enlarge


10. Prince William has an affair with someone twice his age, who may or may not have been a man.
9. Prince Harry marries a socialite who has "serviced" many of the Queen's staff.
8. Prince William has a love child with Lady Gaga.


7. Parliament passes a law that you must have your teeth checked before giving head to any of the members of the royal family.
6. Kate finds out that Camilla (the horse faced wannabe queen) is her biological Mum.
5. Prince Charles wakes up naked in bed with Kate, wearing a Polo helmet and thong, claiming "he has no recollection of what happened."
4. Kate has a mishap getting out of a limo, sans bloomers, flashing her bald twat at the paparazzi.
3. The Prince and Princess decide that they want a "blended family"  because having their own would be selfish.
2. Prince Harry breaks out his Nazi attire and goes on tour with Charlie Sheen.
1. After a booze filled honeymoon, William and Kate wake up with tattoos across their forehead that read BITCH and BITCHESS. They have no plans to remove them anytime soon.

 Cheerio, B*tches! xoxoxoxo
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7 comments:

  1. Perfect! I'm betting #4 totally happens at SOME point...

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  2. Haha. I'm betting a couple will happen in some form!

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  4. That's out fav too!!!it could happen?

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  5. Oh you kill me girl!!! Laughing my ass off at #7! and totally thinking of that Simpsons episide - the book of british smiles!!! You guys rock, this is hilarious:))
    ~Michelle @writinggirlie

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  6. haha! we love that we make you laugh!we promise to keep doing soooo..you Rock yourself!

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