YSYRFT? (You sure you're ready for this?)

Welcome to B*tches in the Burbs. We're not sure how you got here, but we're glad you did. We absolutely can't wait to get started, but we need to warn everyone that this blog may be offensive to you if you are not truly a b*tchy girl. B*tchy girls can be found everywhere: young, old, any race, size, religion, etc. They can be married, divorced, single, engaged, moms, college students...the list goes on and on.
If the mere mention of mom jeans, candle parties, scrapbooking, or bunco excites you, trust us, this is DEFINITLEY NOT the site for you. STOP READING now and go back to your arts n crafts.
We have many friends who enjoy these different activities, and we're not looking to make mortal enemies, although we're pretty sure we will piss people off. To that we say TOO DAMN BAD. For those of you who continue to read despite the warning and are going to be offended, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get off now. We don't want to hear, nor do we care about your bitchy comments or complaints about what we say. We're just trying to have a little fun!
So.............
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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

GGW (GrammysGone Wild) Letter to my Rock Stars




If there is any indication that rock stars and other random musicians need me in their lives, it's the Grammy's.  As I watch one of my favorite shows of the year (cuz I love freaks and music), I realize that with gobs of money you can use your "uniqueness" and turn it into something that has been beamed down from another planet!



Yes, I poke fun of you F*ckers but g-d I love you! I realize that my negative comments are really out of sheer jealousy that I can't live in your house made of an old airport hangar, and have furniture that resembles eggs, spaceships and other screwed up oddities!  I, my friend, wake up everyday and have the same monotonous schedule...every frickin day of my life.  The only salvation I have is seeing my friends, drinking, and seeing some awesome ROCK music.  You guys live this every day!  How cool!  Even your kids live it...For instance: Will Smith's kids go to school  like ours do, but do you think they come right home and go up to their room to do homework? Doubt it...they go to their tiny recording studio and record whatever the hell they want, and their dad says, "Love it!".  Or maybe Eminem's daughter goes to school in a large Hummer with tinted bulletproof windows and spinning tires with an enormous sound system booming.   Her friends probably think it's so cool that Daddy is the real "Slim Shady." How sweet! Our kids don't have a clue what our WH's do.  Well most  of them anyway...

Keep up the great work entertaining us! Even if it's all for show, don't ever tell us! We want you to keep up the facade.  Oh, and Gaga, don't go changing because your music is so much fun to dance to.  We may laugh at your raw meat and horns, but please keep inventing new f*ked up sh*t  for us to laugh at! We're so lucky to be getting the dance and laugh factor all at once! Love it!  You are ridic! So what if you wake up in a compression chamber or a sarcophagus, do what makes you happy!

I'm going to keep on living my "normal" life and continue to watch you "freaks of nature"!  I live for it, so keep rocking!

Until the next concert, awards show, or special report via satellite in outer space......this is your friendly neighborhood B*tch reporting :)  
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5 comments:

  1. the pic with this is perfect! i think its perfect for tweeting tonite toooo

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  2. Well, they might be Rock Stars, but they have nothing on Lady Ha Ha.

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  4. I wanted to slap Gaga right out of her egg and yell, "ENOUGH! You're no longer a little wacky. You're just down right stupid."

    And how can you call "I Whip My Hair Back And Forth" "whatever the hell they want to record?"It's musical genius, is what it is.

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  5. Love you girl!!!Youre a breath of fresh bitchy air!and i like it a lot!

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